Blog #3

Meeting with one of the students in the writing center really helped me to gather my thoughts on what I needed to do to complete my second copy of my paper. I am glad that it was required to meet with one of them. This way they can share their thoughts with me on how I can go about making my paper better. By taking their comments and your comments regarding my first draft, I could get a better understanding of what was needed to make my second copy better.

My introduction was one of the things that needed to be revised. It was not a strong enough beginning for my paper, and it lacked talking about the document right away. To change this I went back and added a completely new introduction paragraph for my paper, which included the main point of my paper and talked about Kellogg’s book.

The next thing I did was read through my paper and then I edited some of the ways in which I had worded my sentences. This made my paper a clearer and also fixed some of my mistakes. I also made sure that I was paraphrasing my quotes from Kellogg’s book correctly and in MLA format. Another step that I took in revising my paper was to change my conclusion.

I think that over-all I really tried to make my paper more concise and more about what Kellogg’s document was talking about. I discussed some of Kellogg’s history so that people who are reading the paper can have a clearer understanding and I explained what he really focused on throughout his lifetime. I also talked about information from how Kellogg’s theories and thoughts are still relevant to today. Over-all I really tried my best to revise and strengthen my paper.