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Conference Notes: Part two

Going into the second conference I felt that my paper was not exactly fitting the expectations. When I met with Dr. Archibald I found out that I was on the right track but that I may have to look into a more specific idea and narrow down my idea. Instead of talking about how television shows, movies, magazines, and commercials I was told to try and focus on one or two specific areas. Then I was told that I should take those specific areas and pick a particular example from them.

When we talked about this more we came up with a television show that I could look into more. The television show that I think I will be looking further into for my paper will be Pretty Little Liars. By narrowing down and looking specifically just into this particular show I can ask question that really highlight what I want to find out in my research such as; what is beautiful? What is feminine? And how has the teenage girls diet been affected or not been affected by certain shows such as this one?

Another aspect of my paper will be looking into the affect that certain commercials dealing with food have on teens and what they are promoting by doing this. This way the reader can clearly see how our society often gives mixed messages and also how this shows through in our society.

Something else that was talked about was how I should start out my paper to make it stronger and more clear to the reader. To do this I will recall the old and new documents that were already looked into and then bring in the new information. I will also use one of the ways that was talked in the discussion to help begin my paper and catch the reader’s attention. 

Sources for the 3ResProj

Using the advanced search on Google really helped me to find many of my sources for my paper. However, not all of my sources came from the advanced search. Two of my sources that were used were from when I had to look up popular teen magazines and popular teen movies/television shows. I did not do an advanced search for these things because I thought that it would be better for me to find out what people were saying was popular in our time and see what they said about certain shows or magazines.

The sources that I got off the advanced search were very helpful. I found many sites that helped me find more specifically what I was looking for. I found sites to help me discuss media in my paper, and sites to help me discuss advertisements. They each were full of useful information to help me start to write my research paper.

Conference Notes

Going into the conference I was a little unsure of what exactly I wanted to have my research paper be about. However, I knew that I wanted to look further into the idea of why dieting in our society has changed so much. I wanted to explain reasons why it has changed rather than just the fact that our foods have become worse for us.

My conference helped me get a better grasp on what it exactly it was that I would need to look into. We discussed the ways in which diets have changed because of the media and advertisements. This made my research paper more clear. I want to focus specifically on the ways that media often times gives teenagers mixed messages. I will narrow in on this topic by researching how media sends the message of how we should strive to be skinny and look like models, but it also tells us that we should eat foods that are bad for us. They do this by using different types of magazines, television shows and advertisements.

My target age for whom I would like to research will be teenagers from the ages of 14-17. We talked about how these ages would be good to research because it is typically the ages where teens are gaining more independence. 

ResProj Paper Ideas

“Crash dieting, as well as the many other diets that are around in today’s society, are for people who are looking for a quick solution to help them lose weight at a fast rate, rather than making healthy long term changes that will result in a lifelong diet.”

-I would like to look deeper into the reasons as to why people’s diets have changed so much. I could research more in depth how our culture has changed and how these changes have affected the ways people choose to diet in today’s society.

“The media makes it seem as though people will only be accepted if they fit the standards of what is being shown in movies and magazines. As humans we strive to become the perfect image to impress others and fit in with the crowd. To get the bodies that we want we come up with diets that are fast and help us lose weight as quickly as possible.”

-I guess in a way I would be using part of the same ideas from the first quote that I posted above, but with this idea I could look more into how media has affected society over time. I would look up the most influential people/celebrities in our culture today and look into how they have helped to shape the ways in which people have gone about dieting.

 After reading these quotes from my 2syn paper what do you think about these topic ideas? Do you understand what I am getting at? And which one sounds best to use for the 3ResProj paper? Why?

Mindmap/Outline

Kaila Ober

Mindmap/Outline Page

Integrating Sources

Example #1:

In The Natural Diet of Man, Kellogg believes that if men are taught on what good dieting choices are, they then can create more wholesome diets for themselves.

As any one will go sharing rabbits or slaughtering lambs may learn; and he will be regarded as a benefactor of his race who shall teach man to confine himself to a more innocent and wholesome diet...I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals. (Kellogg 256)

Kellogg gave people the benefit of doubt and stated that he thought that people were constantly improving in their dieting choices. Half of what Kellogg said is true. Some people in today’s society have improved their ways in which they diet. However in the How Crash Diets, like the Master Cleanse, Harm your Health and Heart document, it emphasizes the ways in which many people of today’s generation have formed unhealthy diets due to many factors.

Example #2:

Linda Bacon emphasizes the risk of these diets in the new document. “They go on fasts, yo-yo diets, detox programs, and ‘cleanses’ without realizing that there are serious consequences to weight loss and nutrient restriction” (Bacon, 3). She highlights that fact that when one goes on these types of diets there are many unhealthy outcomes. Body image pressures were not an integral part of everyday lives a century ago. Perhaps people from today’s generation can heed good sound advice from Kellogg’s works and realize lifelong dieting habits are best for our health.

~I used sources from each document to help empasize major points in my paper.

Works Cited

Bacon, Linda. "How Crash Diets, Like the Master Cleanse, Harm Your Health and Heart." Health.com. Web. 24 Oct. 2011. <https://docs.google.com/document

Kellogg, John Harvey. The Natural Diet of Man. Battle Creek, Michigan: Modern Medicine Publishing Company, n.d. Google Books. Web. 18 Sept. 2011. <http://books.google.com/books

First Paragraph of my 2Syn Paper

How has dieting changed from Kellogg’s era to today’s generation?  How has it stayed the same? By looking further into the two documents related to health, I could come up with a few key points or thoughts as to why things have changed or stayed the same throughout the years. Each document contained two very different types of dieting and varying thoughts involving a persons’ diet. However, if closely looked at a person can see the similarities between the two, as well as its differences.  

After reading this first paragraph what do you think my paper is about?

What is a synthesis?

http://users.drew.edu/~sjamieso/Synthesis.htm 

A synthesis paper looks at the differences and similarities involving two or more summaries that discuss a specific topic. It requires a person to analyze documents and form thoughts and ideas on what they have read. Then the person can make comparisons to the topic being studied and form some kind of thesis. Drawing together themes and organizing ones thoughts helps form the synthesis paper.

Before starting to write the synthesis paper one should organize their thoughts about their topic. They can do this by taking notes, prewriting, clustering, and listing their ideas. This will help to organize their paper and make it flow better over-all. It will also help them discover what themes are important to the paper and which ones are not as important.  

 In the introduction the writer should have one or two sentences where they sum up what the focus of the synthesis paper will be. It should also introduce what documents were focused on and being compared.

The body of the paper should organize the themes, thoughts, and main points of the topic of the paper. It should show the patterns found and inform the reader the about the main similarities or differences that are being closely connected or tied together throughout the paper. It should be informative and represent each document fairly.

The paper should also have a good conclusion. The conclusion should summarize and emphasize what the paper’s key points were. The reader should have a clear understanding of what the main themes of the paper were and how everything connected and flowed together.

My main topic for my synthesis paper dealt with health. I linked together ideas from the two documents I was given and discussed various ways in which health has changed from Kellogg’s generation to today’s generation. I thought it was interesting to talk about the similarities and differences that have formed over the years involving a person’s everyday diet and lifestyle.

Insights from reading the new document

The new document that I read was all about crash dieting. I found it very interesting that most people are oblivious to the fact that crash dieting can have many bad side effects. Just like any diet, crash dieting can have its benefits and it can also have its downfalls. One thing that it emphasized was the point that people do this kind of diet without knowing what they are getting themselves into. They simply want to shed pounds quickly and lose sight of how dangerous it really can be.

From reading this document I have discovered new connections that I can make with Kellogg’s Document from his era. Kellogg discussed in his book, The Natural Diet of Man, how people often do not know what is best for them in order to achieve a healthy lifestyle. He makes it clear that most people do not take the time to learn about the affects of how they choose to eat. In the same way we can make connections to the ways in which people live in today’s society. When we compare the two different eras, we can see that things really have not changed much at all.

People are still determined to lose weight fast but in reality they should be concerned with how they can better themselves throughout their entire lives. Kellogg was a huge supporter of the vegetarianism lifestyle. He believed that if people focused their efforts on being committed to this diet, they would feel better about themselves over-all.  The problem is that people tend to lose sight of what is good for their bodies when they are so focused on losing weight as fast as possible. Crash diets are one of the many unhealthy diets that people have created. Just like some people might agree strongly with Kellogg and his views on vegetarianism, others may agree strongly with other ways of dieting. However, Kellogg’s views are still out in the world we live in today.

Blog #3

Meeting with one of the students in the writing center really helped me to gather my thoughts on what I needed to do to complete my second copy of my paper. I am glad that it was required to meet with one of them. This way they can share their thoughts with me on how I can go about making my paper better. By taking their comments and your comments regarding my first draft, I could get a better understanding of what was needed to make my second copy better.

My introduction was one of the things that needed to be revised. It was not a strong enough beginning for my paper, and it lacked talking about the document right away. To change this I went back and added a completely new introduction paragraph for my paper, which included the main point of my paper and talked about Kellogg’s book.

The next thing I did was read through my paper and then I edited some of the ways in which I had worded my sentences. This made my paper a clearer and also fixed some of my mistakes. I also made sure that I was paraphrasing my quotes from Kellogg’s book correctly and in MLA format. Another step that I took in revising my paper was to change my conclusion.

I think that over-all I really tried to make my paper more concise and more about what Kellogg’s document was talking about. I discussed some of Kellogg’s history so that people who are reading the paper can have a clearer understanding and I explained what he really focused on throughout his lifetime. I also talked about information from how Kellogg’s theories and thoughts are still relevant to today. Over-all I really tried my best to revise and strengthen my paper.

The Art of Summarizing

I focused on the section that talked about summarizing your paper. In this section it talks about the fact that as a writer we should be confident in what it is that we are writing about because then we can suspend our beliefs into our writing, as well as incorporate what others have to say about the subject matter. When a person can place themselves into the other writer’s shoes, and try to understand the points that they are making, then there is more room for writing a paper that is more interesting for the reader. As long as the writer can stay true to the topic and draw ideas from not only their own viewpoint but also from the other person’s perspective, then they have done a good job in summarizing their passage.

Something else that should try to be avoided is list summaries. They make the piece of writing boring for the reader and in a sense ruins the writers work.

When I go back to re-read my rough draft of my paper on health, I will check to see if I summarized everything to the best of my ability. If I have not I will see what I can do to change it, whether that is to get rid of boring lists or to focus more on what J.H. Kellogg was trying to get at. I want to make sure that I do not have just my thoughts on the certain topics coming out and onto my writing but that I have also incorporated his thoughts on the subject matter into my writing. If my paper is balanced between what I feel about the topic and what the other person feels about on the topic then I will feel good about what I have written. However, if this is not the  case I will fix it so that my paper sounds better.

Blogger Assignment #1: Health

For my topic I wanted to research something in the health area. I thought that there were multiple interesting topics that were given as ideas in the mind map that was provided for us. Out of these topics I have decided to research J.H. Kellogg and find out more about how he has contributed to the field of health. The first step I took in finding information for this assignment was going to the mind map page and checking out the different links that were posted in my topic.

For my project I am going to focus on J.H. Kellogg and look more into how he helped shape the views and treatment styles that people have. I would like to find out if his work and theories are still used by people in order to try and help them become healthier over all. I would also like to branch off of his theories and try to find theories that people have come up with in future generations today. By doing this I could find out if there are any connections to what J.H. Kellogg had theories about in his time.  

Some information that I found out about J.H. Kellogg was that he was known as the originator of health foods, he helped to create healthy cereals, and he was big into manufacturing health foods so that people could make better choices in their everyday diets. He was also known for many volumes of health related books and was not only devoted to finding new dieting methods but was a surgeon and an inventor.

Using the information that I find, I would like to relate what Kellogg researched over his period of time, to what is currently being researched and thought about. I think it would be interesting to show how his ideas or theories relating to health and diets can still be thought of in today’s society and maybe even still be used or thought about.  

http://www.nytimes.com