Blog #3

Meeting with one of the students in the writing center really helped me to gather my thoughts on what I needed to do to complete my second copy of my paper. I am glad that it was required to meet with one of them. This way they can share their thoughts with me on how I can go about making my paper better. By taking their comments and your comments regarding my first draft, I could get a better understanding of what was needed to make my second copy better.

My introduction was one of the things that needed to be revised. It was not a strong enough beginning for my paper, and it lacked talking about the document right away. To change this I went back and added a completely new introduction paragraph for my paper, which included the main point of my paper and talked about Kellogg’s book.

The next thing I did was read through my paper and then I edited some of the ways in which I had worded my sentences. This made my paper a clearer and also fixed some of my mistakes. I also made sure that I was paraphrasing my quotes from Kellogg’s book correctly and in MLA format. Another step that I took in revising my paper was to change my conclusion.

I think that over-all I really tried to make my paper more concise and more about what Kellogg’s document was talking about. I discussed some of Kellogg’s history so that people who are reading the paper can have a clearer understanding and I explained what he really focused on throughout his lifetime. I also talked about information from how Kellogg’s theories and thoughts are still relevant to today. Over-all I really tried my best to revise and strengthen my paper.

The Art of Summarizing

I focused on the section that talked about summarizing your paper. In this section it talks about the fact that as a writer we should be confident in what it is that we are writing about because then we can suspend our beliefs into our writing, as well as incorporate what others have to say about the subject matter. When a person can place themselves into the other writer’s shoes, and try to understand the points that they are making, then there is more room for writing a paper that is more interesting for the reader. As long as the writer can stay true to the topic and draw ideas from not only their own viewpoint but also from the other person’s perspective, then they have done a good job in summarizing their passage.

Something else that should try to be avoided is list summaries. They make the piece of writing boring for the reader and in a sense ruins the writers work.

When I go back to re-read my rough draft of my paper on health, I will check to see if I summarized everything to the best of my ability. If I have not I will see what I can do to change it, whether that is to get rid of boring lists or to focus more on what J.H. Kellogg was trying to get at. I want to make sure that I do not have just my thoughts on the certain topics coming out and onto my writing but that I have also incorporated his thoughts on the subject matter into my writing. If my paper is balanced between what I feel about the topic and what the other person feels about on the topic then I will feel good about what I have written. However, if this is not the  case I will fix it so that my paper sounds better.

Blogger Assignment #1: Health

For my topic I wanted to research something in the health area. I thought that there were multiple interesting topics that were given as ideas in the mind map that was provided for us. Out of these topics I have decided to research J.H. Kellogg and find out more about how he has contributed to the field of health. The first step I took in finding information for this assignment was going to the mind map page and checking out the different links that were posted in my topic.

For my project I am going to focus on J.H. Kellogg and look more into how he helped shape the views and treatment styles that people have. I would like to find out if his work and theories are still used by people in order to try and help them become healthier over all. I would also like to branch off of his theories and try to find theories that people have come up with in future generations today. By doing this I could find out if there are any connections to what J.H. Kellogg had theories about in his time.  

Some information that I found out about J.H. Kellogg was that he was known as the originator of health foods, he helped to create healthy cereals, and he was big into manufacturing health foods so that people could make better choices in their everyday diets. He was also known for many volumes of health related books and was not only devoted to finding new dieting methods but was a surgeon and an inventor.

Using the information that I find, I would like to relate what Kellogg researched over his period of time, to what is currently being researched and thought about. I think it would be interesting to show how his ideas or theories relating to health and diets can still be thought of in today’s society and maybe even still be used or thought about.  

http://www.nytimes.com